WORTH READING 12 April 2006

How Heaven Screens Its Applicants

A man and his dog died together, and after death, were walking along a
road.
He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of
the
road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was
broken
by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before
it,
he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother of pearl,
and
the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a
man at
a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me,
where are we?" "This is heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked. "Of course,
sir.
Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man
gestured, and the gate began to open. "Can my friend," gesturing toward
his
dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets." The man thought a moment and
then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been
going.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to
a
dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never
been
closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man
inside,
leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there" The man pointed to a place that
couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate, and
sure
enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The
traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave
some to
the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man
who
was standing by the tree waiting for them.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked. "This is heaven," was
the
answer.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said
that was heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope.
That's
hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they
screen
out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind".

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