WORTH READING 18 April 2006

Let Others Be Right Most Of The Time

Being right, defending our positions, takes an enormous amount of mental
energy and often alienates us from the people in our lives. Needing to
be
right ? or needing someone else to be wrong ? encourages others to
become
defensive, and puts pressure on us to keep defending. Yet, many of us
spend
a great deal of time and energy attempting to prove (or point out) that
we
are right ? and/or others are wrong.

Many people, consciously or unconsciously, believe that it?s somehow
their
job to show others how their positions, statements, and points of view
are
incorrect, and that in doing so, the person they are correcting is going
to
somehow appreciate it. Wrong!

Have you ever been corrected by someone and said to the person who was
trying to be right, ?Thank you so much for showing me that I?m wrong and
you?re right.? Or, has anyone you know ever thanked you when you
corrected
them, or made yourself ?right? at their expense? Of course not.

The truth is, all of us hate to be corrected. We all want our positions
to
be respected and understood by others. Being listened to and heard is
one of
the greatest desires of the human heart. And those who learn to listen
are
the most loved and respected.

It?s not that it?s never appropriate to be right ? sometimes you
genuinely
need to be or want to be. Perhaps there are certain philosophical
positions
that you don?t want to budge on, such as when you hear a racist comment.
Here, it?s important to speak your mind. Usually, however, it?s just
your
ego creeping in and ruining an otherwise peaceful encounter ? a habit of
wanting or needing to be right.

A wonderful, strategy for becoming more peaceful and loving is to
practice
allowing others the joy of being right ? give them the glory. Stop
correcting. As hard as it may be to change this habit, it?s worth any
effort
and practice it takes.

The people in your life will become less defensive and more loving. They
will appreciate you more than you could ever have dreamed possible, even
if
they don?t exactly know why. You?ll discover the joy of participating in
and
witnessing other people?s happiness, which is far more rewarding than a
battle of egos.

You don?t have to sacrifice your deepest philosophical truths or most
heartfelt opinions, but, starting today, let others be ?right,? most of
the
time!

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