WORTH READING 18 Mar 2005

Learn To Speak Their Language
- by Steve Goodier

A woman was explaining her theory of putting her children to bed: "I
never
tell bedtime stories that begin with 'Once upon a time,'" she said. "If
I
really want to put them to sleep, I start off with, 'Now, when I was
your
age...'" It's nice to understand people so well that we know just what
to
say! Here is a mother who could speak her children's language.

The story is told of the most famous elephant in the world -- a huge,
beautiful and gentle beast named Bozo. Children extended open palms
filled
with peanuts for the Indian elephant, who gently plucked them from
little
hands and seemed to smile as he ate his treats.

But one day, for some inexplicable reason, Bozo changed. He almost
stampeded
the man who cleaned his cage. He charged children at the circus and
became
incorrigible. His owner knew he would have to destroy the once-gentle
giant.

In order to raise money for a new elephant, the circus owner held a
cruel
exhibition. He sold tickets to witness Bozo's execution and, on the
appointed day, his arena was packed. Three men with high-powered rifles
rose
to take aim at the great beast's head.

Just before the signal was given to shoot, a little, stubby man in a
brown
hat stepped out of the crowd and said to the elephant's owner, "Sir,
this is
not necessary. Bozo is not a bad elephant."

"But he is," the man argued. "We must kill him before he kills someone."

"Sir, give me two minutes alone in his cage," the visitor pleaded, "and
I'll
prove to you that you are wrong. He is not a bad elephant."

After a few more moments of discussion (and a written statement
absolving
the circus of liability if the man should be injured), the keeper
finally
agreed to allow the man inside Bozo's cage. The man removed his brown
derby
and entered the cage of the bellowing and trumpeting beast.

Before the elephant could charge, the man began to speak to him. Bozo
seemed
to immediately quiet down upon hearing the man's words. Nearby
spectators
could also hear the man, but they could not understand him, for he spoke
a
foreign language. Soon the great animal began to tremble, whine and
throw
his head about. Then the stranger walked up to Bozo and stroked his
trunk.
The great elephant tenderly wrapped his trunk around the man, lifted him
up
and carried him around his cage before carefully depositing him back at
the
door. Everyone applauded.

As the cage door closed behind him, the man said to Bozo's keeper, "You
see,
he is a good elephant. His problem is that he is an Indian elephant and
understands one language." He explained that Bozo was frustrated and
confused. He needed someone who could speak his language. "I suggest,
sir,
that you find someone in London to come in occasionally and talk to the
elephant. If you do, you'll have no problems."

The man picked up his brown derby and walked away. It was at that time
that
the circus owner looked carefully at the signature on the paper he held
in
his hand -- the note absolving the circus of responsibility in the case
he
was injured inside the elephant's cage. The statement was signed by
Rudyard
Kipling.

People also become frustrated and angry when they are not understood.
But
great relationships are formed by parents who learn to speak their
children's language; lovers who speak each other's language;
professionals
who speak the language of their staff and clients. When people
understand
that YOU understand, that you empathize with their heartaches and
understand
their problems, then you are speaking their language! It is the
beginning of
true communication.

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