Special Thanks This Thanksgiving
-By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
Millions of parents will pause this Thanksgiving to do what the day was
originally created for--- give thanks for the many blessings that exist in
their lives. Turkey, pumpkin pie, and the presence of loved ones will
receive their fair share of gratitude during this annual ritual of
appreciation. Many parents will also give thanks for their children's
health, the arrival of a newborn, or a recent marriage. The abundance
provided by the universe, opportunities for meaningful work, and the
laughter of children will be acknowledged with gratitude by loving parents
as they thank the creator for their blessings. Indeed, this traditional day
calls for a traditional thank-you.
But what if your appreciation this Thanksgiving took on a new look? What if
the blessings you count this year included situations that aren't usually
regarded as helpful, useful or valuable? Consider the following.
Why not be thankful that your child is two years behind grade level in his
reading ability? This struggling reader is giving you the opportunity to
read to him regularly at night. This evening ritual will help build
connectedness between you and your child while at the same time modeling
your love for the printed word. Great literature like The Little Engine That
Could or The Diary of Anne Frank can be shared as you simultaneously bond
with your child. This opportunity is an incredible blessing. Appreciate it.
Why not be thankful that your daughter's soccer team lost their last game?
It is important that your children have experiences of both winning and
losing. By losing, children have the opportunity to learn to handle defeat
and bounce back next time. With your help, they can learn that winning or
losing is not the measure of who and what they are as human beings. They can
learn they are more than the score. They can learn that it's effort, energy,
and playing up to potential with good sportsmanship that defines a winner,
not the scoreboard. Appreciate the opportunity the loss brings and be
grateful for it.
Why not be thankful that your teenager received a speeding ticked for going
45 mph in a 25 mph speed zone? Getting a ticket is not a bad thing. Not if
your teen learns from it and slows her driving for the next year. If she
takes personal responsibility, pays the ticket, and is more cautious about
her driving, the ticket may well save her life or the life of someone else
in the future. Bless the ticket and give thanks for its blessings.
Why not be thankful that your 8-year-old shoplifted in the grocery store?
This is the perfect time to teach your child about shoplifting. Better now
than when he helps himself to someone else's car when he is 18. Teach him
how to make amends. Teach him what to say as he returns the candy bars to
the storeowner. Help him learn to articulate what he learned and what he
intends to do differently next time. Bless this perfect time to teach
lessons about taking things that don't belong to you. Be grateful for the
opportunity.
Why not be thankful that your youngsters track mud and sand into the garage
and house? The next time you stand in the garage furiously sweeping sand and
wishing that your children were better behaved, quietly remind yourself that
one day you'll wish you had sand to sweep out of the garage. Love the mud.
Love the sand. Be grateful for the signs of the presence of children in your
life.
Why not be thankful for sibling rivalry? "He got more than I did" and "It
isn't fair" are common childhood refrains. Hitting, poking and teasing your
sister are typical childhood behaviors. Bless these opportunities to help
your children learn how to get along with each other. Use them as times to
teach interpersonal skills and the importance of touching each other gently.
Sibling rivalry is a call for help, a signal that your children need lessons
on how to interact positively with each other. Bless their unskillful way of
asking for help. Be grateful that you recognize it and help them grow in
working and playing cooperatively.
Why not be thankful that you got to stay home with a sick child last week?
You didn't have to stay home. You got to stay home. You didn't have to take
him to the doctor. You got to take him to the doctor. You got to make sure
he received the health care he needed. You got to show him you care enough
to drive all over town to the doctors, the pharmacists and back home again.
You got to be with your boy while he was sick. Not everyone gets to be with
their children when they are sick. You did. Chalk it up as a blessing.
Celebrate it this Thanksgiving.
Why not be thankful that your adolescent asked you about oral sex? This is a
great sign. It means your child trusts you enough to talk to you about sex.
It means she is not getting all her sex knowledge from the street. It means
you have been taking your role as sex educator in your family seriously and
that you have moved beyond "the talk" to having an ongoing, honest
conversation about the important subject of sex. Congratulate yourself. It
is a blessing that you are willing to fulfill that role for your child and
that she is responding to it positively. Give thanks.
Why not be thankful that your 20-year-old has moved out of your home? Did
you really want to raise a 30-year-old Nintendo player who sits around your
house all day sucking up diet Pepsi and pizza? Hardly! Your goal was to
raise a responsible, caring, confident child who would move away from home
when the time was right for her. You have been successful. Pat yourself on
the back. Yes, it would nice if she had chosen to spend this Thanksgiving
with you rather than with her boyfriend's parents. Maybe next year. This
year give thanks. Your child is an adult. That is a blessing.
Why not give thanks that your child is spilling milk, talking with his mouth
full, wiping cranberry sauce on his new pants, refusing to eat his
vegetables, and interrupting his grandmother at the dinner table this day?
It means you have more work to do as a parent. It means your job is not yet
done. This is a blessing. You are still needed to help your child learn to
pour milk more carefully, improve his table manners, learn to eat
nutritiously, and show respect for elders. Give thanks for these
opportunities.
Why not be thankful for your special-needs child? Do you have a child with
ADHD? Is your son autistic or dyslexic? Does your daughter have Down's
syndrome? Is your child facing a serious health challenge? Your children are
in your life for a reason. Perhaps they have come to help you learn
patience, understanding, or commitment. Perhaps they are here to teach your
family about tolerance, acceptance of differences, or unconditional love.
Their presence is a blessing. Be thankful for the contribution they are
making to the planet and to your family.
This Thanksgiving remember that parenting is a ministry. It is a sacred role
that you are being called to perform. Give thanks that you have been called.
Give thanks that you are willing to step forward and accept that call.
Appreciate that you are being shown the way. Celebrate yourself and your
contribution to healing the planet by helping your children evolve into the
people they were meant to be. You are a blessing to the world. Give thanks
that you are up to the task.
Happy Thanksgiving.
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